This is something I see as a good communication tool as well as something that can keep me focused on the spiritual development of our church family. I really believe it has the potential to be good for me and others, so why am I having a hard time making it become a regular part of my life?
Then I remember what the Apostle Paul wrote to the church in Rome. "For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good i want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members."
This is a reminder of the continual struggle we have of the spirit versus the flesh. While my spirit longs to serve God and others there are a multitude of physical distractions pulling me to serve myself. It can become frustrating and discouraging to the point of wanting to quit when I time and again give into the flesh. It can seem hopeless. Paul goes on in that same letter to make a desperate statement, "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?" Of course he doesn't leave it there. He gives the answer in a statement of praise, "Thanks be to God -- through Jesus Christ our Lord!"
Amen! We sometimes forget the victory has already been won. I think that all of us need to do a better job of understanding that we are flawed and weak. Left alone we will fall short. We will fail. But, through Jesus Christ we are made more than conquerors and can do all things. What may be impossible for us is made possible through the power of God. We need to stop trying to "make good habits". That is us working and that really never works. Instead, we need to start seeking God and opening up our hearts and souls to His leading and I believe we will see great things happen.
I guess what I am saying is this. Maybe we need to kick the habit of trying to control our habits and turn ourselves completely over to Him and let His Spirit lead us, teach us, encourage us, and empower us.
I just read your post Daryl and you are certainly not alone. I have been reading the book Ragamuffin Gospel by Brendan Manning. I'm about half way through it so I am working on keeping my mind and heart open to see what all Manning has to say, but I can tell you it has been a convicting experience already. And uncomfortable, as it usually is when we come face to face with the spiritual warts and blemishes we each have.
ReplyDeleteManning calls us back to the basis of our salvation -- God's unmerited grace and mercy. And he rubs our (my) nose in WHY God's mercy is always unmerited grace and favor. It is because of my sin. Both the sin I had before God washed it away and the ongoing sin I have because I am who and what I am - a sinful man, who wants to live only for God, but cannot escape my weak human nature.
Manning warns us that we (I) all too often struggle to do "the right thing", not because it is pleasing to God, but because it exposes my failings to those around me. And rare indeed is the person who truly does not live his life, at least in part, to show what he "ought to be" to those around and act as if that is who he truly is. The wanting to isn't a bad thing, if our focus and motivation is pleasing God. But it is SO easy for that to side slip into concern for what those around me think. When I fail, trying to minimize the failing, or distract others from noticing by covering it up under a thin film of looking good - appearing to walk righteous, appearing to pray (more than I do), wishing you warmed and fed but doing nothing of substance to provide warmth and food.
How easy the temptation to spend more and more effort in hiding my own weakness, which means there is less and less focus on God. I have really been challenged by what Manning has called to mind, because it is (for the most part) what God said through his Son.
I have a long way to go to be where I think God wants me. But the message we strain out of the gospel is --- Christ died for us while we were still in our sin!! His forgiveness is not earned by my clean living! His forgiveness IS for those who have put on his Son, and I should stop pretending to be good enough to deserve it!!! I never will be. I don't have to be. I'm washed in his blood and made white as snow. And that makes ALL the difference.
Hang in there brother. We all have clay feet - I think I have clay knees and elbows too! Sometimes I think I have a clay brain. But God loves us and has made us his, and that is all that counts in the end.
God bless and have a God filled day!